It's the eve before my upgrade ... and what am I doing??? Trawling the internet ... I should be studying but ... who gives a sh*t???!!! Hahaha ... I just hope I'm still laughing after my upgrade panel tomorrow! I have been implementing a self imposed facebook and YM ban for the past 2 weeks and I'm just dying to interract with my chums again! Why am I like this??? I think I'm burning out. I have been doing nothing but reading, writing, analysing, thinking since Dec 2010 in preparation for my upgrade (to illustrate - I was even writing my thesis during the recent break with my family) ... and right now I'm just bored and tired. I have been so daunted by this upgrade which is going to happen tomorrow commencing 1000 hours at the Law School ... and I don't know why is it that one day before D Day I am feeling and acting this way. I've been trying hard to anticipate what are the questions which will be asked and frankly right now ... I just don't care. I hate feeling this way because i am just not a carefree and reckless person ... I love order and certainty in my life but at the moment ... I'm at a point where there are just too many junctions ahead of me. If I were in Malaysia I think I might have just put everything down and just go to Universal studios Singapore or Hong Kong Disneyland for a time out. But since I am here ... and at the moment I am as poor as a church mouse (to understand the magnitude - I wanted to donate to the Japan disaster fund today but just couldn't because I don't have any more cash left on me ... again ... thank you JPA Msia ... "selangkah ke hadapan, seratus langkah ke belakang" as always!! mua hahaha). To top everything off ... last night I couldn't sleep ... I only fell asleep at about 5 am and right now I'm feeling slightly light headed and dizzy. Plus ... I need to go to the hairdressers ... but not here in the UK ... it's too expensive and i am very fussy about my hair ...and I hate having to explain how I like my hair to be done to a new hairstylist. In Malaysia I have one hairstylist who I go to regularly. She knows what i like and what i need. So, till my summer hols in Malaysia at the end of July ... I just have to deal with the hair myself! If my hair is ok ... then I will be much calmer ... hee hee
However, there is light at the end of the tunnel (provided I pass my upgrade lah!) ... this is because my financial situation will be improving by April and I will have some extra funds for my family trip to Disneyland Paris ... insyaallah! I'm just going to let my hair down for 1 whole month after the upgrade. Wish me luck!
No comments:
Post a Comment