The Morning After .... the Upgrade la!

Yezz ... it's the morning after the upgrade ... BTW, i passed, so congrats to me! hehe. I should be feeling relaxed, relieved and happy ... but why oh why am I not feeling any of those emotions?? Well ... firstly, because I have to decide on whether I have to proceed with my research as originally proposed or expand my 2nd chapter into a whole thesis (as per my primary supervisor's suggestion). Secondly, I'm missing home and family in Malaysia (so what else is new?) and thirdly I've just received news that so many idiots are being promoted in my service whilst the good ones are sidelined. All these have contributed to this "down" feeling that I'm having at the moment. I have so many things to say on all those issues and just don't know where to start especially the third issue. I wish I could just leave the service and move on to greener pastures ... but my pension is holding me back. However, if I get a good offer and my salary is being paid in GBP or USD ... I think I might just take up the offer and leave the service. It's not that I don't love my country and am not thankful to the government ... but I just feel like I've had enough. I've just had too many bad experiences in the service which has eroded whatever iota that is left of my love for the service. The fact is ... I feel stifled, humiliated and unappreciated by the service. Yes, I have been given this opportunity to further my studies in UK whilst in service, but most probably after i report for duty, the knowledge which I've gained will not be used and i will be placed in a post which is not at all relevant to my qualifications. My credential will just be another detail in my CV and that's it. Plus, there will be so many people who will try to humiliate me and bring me down. I've faced all these after I returned to the service after obtaining my masters degree. So, in short ... after nearly 14 years in civil service I have conceded that I am not cut out to be a Malaysian civil servant. I have been in denial for the past 7 years and now I truly and wholeheartedly am just giving up. So, here is a piece of advice for those of you interested in becoming a civil servant.... don't waste your time and intelligence. You can contribute to your country just as well by working in the private sector, overseas or opening your own business. I remember when I told a lecturer of mine just before I graduated from my Bachelors degree that I want to enter government service to gain experience and contribute to the country because I thought I could make a difference. My lecturer who had double law degrees from the UK told me ... "what experience? you won't gain any good professional experience by working for the government". At that point in time I just dismissed him as a cynical old sod. But now ... yes, I have to admit that he was right. So, what do i have to show for throughout my 14 years with the civil service so far? The only good thing I can think of now is my master degree and hopefully my doctorate which insyaallah I'll be obtaining in 2012. As for useful/marketable professional experience and job satisfaction ... Nada, Zilch. I could have gained marketable experience if I had continued my legal practice. All the lessons learnt will help me to guide my son towards obtaining useful and fullfilling employment in the future. I have told him that you have to be internationally marketable. Work overseas to gain experience and gather wealth. Only after you've gained all that do you return to Malaysia and never ever work for the government.